funny things to say when someone is crying

67. That one tear, that tiny, salty, droplet of moisture is a means of escape.

That scratching sound.

You have no right to your own life and if you try to leave me I’ll kill you so nobody else can have you. A section withered and became a scar on the part of your soul that survived. But there must be sunlight also. My eyes bleed because I’ve watched you so intently.

21. I have always had a strong urge to dig my fingers into a person’s eye sockets.


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There’s a man and woman that follow you around, I see them sometimes. I didn’t know why I was going to cry, but I knew that if anybody spoke to me or looked at me too closely the tears would fly out of my eyes and the sobs would fly out of my throat and I’d cry for a week. We’re grilling a kind of meat I bet you’ve never tried before. 89. I’ve tried to take my own life 73 times. That sound you hear at night. 78. The worst thing in the world would be to be eaten alive by chickens. As a child, I dragged a dead squirrel home, cut it open and tried to look at its brain.

Tell me what that one’s about! Bad news for you. They were fine when the car was on fire but I sure wasn’t. Just so you know, I wrote your name on my leg with a box cutter so I’ll always have you near me. Although it's just a small tear, it is the heaviest thing in the world.

But if someone is trying to hide their tears, it may also be noble to pretend you do not notice them.” ― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish.

And laughter truly is the best medicine for your soul. 54. Otherwise just say it and run for your life. 53.

61. 56. 87. People come here for pain! I have been sent here to fulfil the secret wishes you’d never utter out loud. My sleep wasn’t peaceful, though. You have stolen my heart, but that’s OK. Without this emotion, we are only robots.”, “Eventually something you love is going to be taken away.

What’s the best way to talk to dead people?

Because no matter how hard you try or how bad you want to, you can't. That pain just stays in place.

46. 86. 9 Ways to Take Back Your Power, 27 Best Self Improvement Books to Read No Matter How Old You Are, Why Constant Self-Improvement May Be Bad Sometimes, 5 Keys to Self Improvement That Will Pave a Path to Success, How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life for the Better, How to Get Motivated to Work and Start Your Day With Positivity, 20 Reasons Why Relationships Fail (And How to Avoid It). 58. The soup is made from tears, thickened by a nice roux. “Sometimes crying or laughing are the only options left, and laughing feels better right now.”, “When someone is crying, of course, the noble thing to do is to comfort them. What if the spiritual world is the job and the living world the vacation? You’re not hiding anything. What’s the Easiest Language to Learn for English Speakers. I had a dream last night that my eyeball fell out! And it doesn't do a damn thing to fix anything.”, “I didn’t want my picture taken because I was going to cry. You’re just hiding everything. Her and my other mother are so old now.

40. People really think there can never be such things as zombies. All Rights Reserved. 77. You learn what you need to know to kill and take care of the details. A sharp knife is necessary to slice through flesh.

Because what was the point in crying when there was no one there to comfort you? Now part of me is inside of you.”. 29. Would you let me chew your food for you? 10. Say your empathy and they will get back up a lot quicker. He is not only the doctor who mends it, but also the father who wipes away the tears.”, “The tears of the world are a constant quantity.

What do I need to do? For each one who begins to weep somewhere else another stops. 30.

The only thing I can tell you about revenge is that it fulfils a need. 37.

Don’t struggle…I hate it when they struggle too much. 68.

See Also: Best Batman Quotes: Memorable Quotes From The Dark Knight.

33. I wish I could cut off all your hair and knit it into a sweater for me to wear. Would you mind if I take you to the cemetery to see my parents on our first date? 64.

11. Even toilet paper can be used to kill if you know my secret.


What would you do if you ever wake up at midnight to find the dark figure at your window? You can’t see them but they’ve been watching us for a long time now. The sound of a shovel digging into the earth makes me shiver with anticipation. My hope is that one day I will be able to say, “I’ve killed a chicken.”. Somebody stop me before I do it again…I can’t help it anymore.

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